I have friends who are coffee connoisseurs. “Coffee connoisseur” is a street term for “Java Nazi”. These people are all about roasts and organics and fair trades and Nicaragua. That’s all they talk about. They have devices that help make the perfect cup of coffee, but really these contraptions just make it more difficult to get your morning caffeine jolt. But that’s how it goes, I guess. Hipsters pride themselves in listening to crappy music that no one else has ever heard of, so I guess I can understand why a Java Nazi would happily wait fifteen minutes for a cup of medium-roast, fairly traded, Nicaraguan morning blend to brew in their beakers and petri dishes.
That’s why I go for the fast, easy jolt from a Berry Flavored Mt. Dew Amp. Gotta go for the blue can. I’ve tried the other flavors…they’re okay. The blue can speaks to me.
We all have our poison-of-choice.
Pull the knife out Wes… and by the way, no one drinks Nicaraguan – that’s so 2011.
Ha! I should’ve come to you in order to research this comic. :)
Ha, true. Although there is something about a really crappy cup of coffee that pleases the nazi as well.
How so? Does it justify their “Java Nazism”?
I have gone to this little truck stop diner since I was 16 that has the worst coffee in the world, but the best grilled cheese (I’ve never ordered anything else, so I am sure everything else is awful). Whenever I drink horrible coffee anywhere else I immediately think of this diner and begin to get the grilled cheese shakes. To me that is a great cup of coffee.
Man. I just realized I’m the only guy I know who drinks decaf.
Decaf still has caffeine in it. Don’t believe the lie. You’re one of us.
Decaf is also made from the dirt under the coffee bush
Hahhahaa Yessssss!! Coincedently, The Chemex is German.
I dedicate today’s comic to you, Scott.
Thanks :) I write this as I enjoy a fantastic Ethiopian Harrar from my Clever Dripper :D Oh, and I started watching Breaking Bad this week, I swear I saw a Chemex where they were cooking meth.
i fairly pay for my folgers at giant eagle or meijer. and while im sure people in nicaragua/kenya/wherever else would love more money for their product, folgers comes from an ohio company. im nothing if not loyal.
Boom.
Those beans aren’t from an Ohio company – the roasting and delivering are. Unfortunately (and painfully hilarious), your assessments are accurate enough. As a local roaster (in the south no less) I agree that can be somewhat snobby. However, it’s *my* snobbery and I accept it :) I concur that Nicaraguan is in fact so 2011.
Are meth and coffee really that different?
Probably not.
One’s legal to consume, though probably not for long in NYC
Bwahaha! I love this. Reminds me of @Moe_NYC just a bit.
Although, French press coffee is quite delicious.
How would you compare the French press with a Chemex?
This is AWESOME!
Thanks, Michael! Glad you dig! :)
Hilarious. As usual. So glad you’re back to making comics on a regular basis.
Thanks, Brock. I appreciate your encouragement and support, man.
I was all set to buy a cold brew system the other day, but all they ended up having at the store was the incomplete display unit–their for sale unit was stolen. They had that chemex thing too (I recognized it right away, nice work).
Thanks, man! The filters were the trickiest things to draw.
Fantastic to see comics from you again!
Side note, I use a coffee press. It’s delicious. But enough effort I end up not drinking coffee at all.
I just drink my morning joe from “God’s Restaurant” every morning. (ChickFila) $1.82 for a large and all the free Hazelnut Creamers I can use.
I get my meth from somewhere else.
My morning joe has been coming from my Keurig. Java Nazis hate Keurigs.
^^^This^^^
Aeropress, baby. Zow!
Ha ha ha. Just found your comic and love this comic!
Keurig, Folgers…..ugh! ;)
Thanks, David! Glad you dig it!