I have friends who are coffee connoisseurs. “Coffee connoisseur” is a street term for “Java Nazi”. These people are all about roasts and organics and fair trades and Nicaragua. That’s all they talk about. They have devices that help make the perfect cup of coffee, but really these contraptions just make it more difficult to get your morning caffeine jolt. But that’s how it goes, I guess. Hipsters pride themselves in listening to crappy music that no one else has ever heard of, so I guess I can understand why a Java Nazi would happily wait fifteen minutes for a cup of medium-roast, fairly traded, Nicaraguan morning blend to brew in their beakers and petri dishes.