If you are the active outdoorsy type, then you can’t claim your full “active outdoorsy” street cred until you’ve completed one of these crazy marathons. Don’t worry – you have plenty of options. There’s the Warrior Dash, Tough Mudder (which makes me think of Jayne from Firefly, just sayin’), Mud Ninja, and the Spartan Race among others.
These marathons have several common denominators. For starters, most all of them take place in forested areas and involve varying amounts of mud. Many obstacles include barbed wire and, in some cases, fire. At the end of your run, you are usually given something healthy to eat (for instance, a banana) and something unhealthy and edgy to drink (for instance, a beer). You also receive some type of cute/funny novelty that you can wear and makes the fact that you just contracted tetanus by wading through a filthy pond totally worth it.
The funniest thing about these races is the participants. They’re so psyched before the event, and afterwards they share stories as though they survived the landing in Normandy on D-Day. The fact is, actual American soldiers have put their lives on the line so we wouldn’t have to run through barb-wire-laden mud pits. Participation in an event like a Viking Scramble is sort of like saying our forefathers died for nothing.
Have you ever competed in a Viking-Scramble-like event? What were you thinking?!
I LOVE today’s strip! It’s hilarious!
Thanks, Dave!
I’m not sure I’d go quite so far as to say they died for nothing, Wes. Perhaps “they died so we wouldn’t have to run through bar-wire-laden mud pits, unless we wanted to.” I’m sure Ron Swanson would agree.
Well said, sir. :)
“In fact, you paid a fairly hefty premium in order to participate.”
Miles! <3
The truth hurts, right?
These types of events are the result our society’s efforts to engineer all the risk out of everyday life. People require a certain level of risk and alter their behavior to find it when previous activities become safer (risk homeostasis).
That being said, I do wish they’d shut up about the glory of entirely voluntary stupidity.
In other words, it’s “manufactured risk” or “artificial danger”. Is that what you’re saying? :)
Correct. There are several studies on the subject, although very dry, they are quite informative.
Have you ever competed in a Viking-Scramble-like event? What were you thinking?!
Wes, this is your best discussion question to date.
I’ve never taken part in a “Viking Scramble.” After seeing the results of JP’s experience, I probably never will.
I was asked to participate in a Warrior Dash a while back. My response was a quick and easy “no”.
One of the dudes in my men’s group participates and trains for these crazy runs on a regular basis. Guy is a beast.
I’ve found that most participants of these races are rather beast-like. Or have beast-like training.
as long as they don’t develop blue fur, they’re probably mostly not insane…
Thank you K.C.!! I am addicted to these type of events for a few different reasons. I have MS and I want to encourage other people that have MS to go out and have fun. Life is not over since I or anybody else has MS. I do it because I want to challenge myself. I want to be an example to others to challenge themselves, not be sedentary, be active, enjoy a little bit of childhood as an adult. Another reason that like it because I regret not serving in the military because of my ego. I wanted to be a Ranger or nothing. Well bad knees and they said no Rangers.
Thanks for sharing, Ron! You made me feel kinda guilty for picking on these events. Kinda guilty, mind you. Not, like, a hundred percent guilty. :)
Seriously, though, I think it’s rad that you’re spitting in the face of MS. Way to go, man!
I’ve done two this year (Run for your lives and CarX Crazy K) – more of an attempt to give me a fun goal for getting in shape. I’ve been more physically active in the last 6 months than I have been in the last couple of years combined! The difficulty seems to depend on the organization setting it up: Crazy K raises money for charity and was more set up to get you muddy, Rfyl wore me out. I am passing on the one with paintball snipers, though…
Really?! Paintball snipers?! Has it come to this?! :)
I’d sign up to snipe!
Ha ha! That’s where the money is! You charge $100 to run the race and $300 to snipe!
I once heard tell that one of these events involved running through electrically-charged wires after crawling through damp grass & mud. That was enough for me to return to my sofa, pop a cold one and turn on Madden.
That’s the beauty of video games. They allow you to achieve all your athletic dreams with no effort.
Yup. At run for your lives, there were TWO electrical charge obstacles: one was a pitch black room with dangling wires, just after a water pit, then other was an electrified fence you had to crawl under, in the mud, to get to the finish line!
I think the best part about reading these comics is that I am usually just outside of frame on the story line.
Lots of Warrior Dashers at CP.
Simple street 5Ks for this guy. But I have a bother-in-law (not a typo) who loves these crazy things. And you are spot-on in the way he recaps it. Like he single-handedly saved humanity because he ran on a trail instead of pavement…and he has the scratches from the briars to prove it. And the FACEBOOK posts after the race!!! UGH!
Yeah. The Facebook pictures after these races are almost as annoying as the naked-pregnant-belly pictures.
We get it. You’re really muddy.
Love your comics, wish you’d post them more often. But I must protest about your use of marathon to describe these events. A marathon is 26.2 miles and only 26.2 miles. Nothing else can be called a marathon.
I did Warrior Dash last year just for the heck of it. Never again. Just my style of race. But if it gets someone off the couch and active, then I say go for it.
Should be “not my style of race.”
I beg to differ, Jody! If you have a Back to the Future marathon, ain’t nobody gonna be running 26.2 miles. ;)
Haha, great point. I wonder how fast I could run if 1.21 jiggawatts were coursing through my body.
Clearly if you are going to do a Back to the Future marathon, it’s not about the distance… but the speed. It’s 88mph or nothing.
Very funny! So glad I’m not the butt of the macho muddy race joke today!
I only started Mud Runs this year, but I’ve done a Warrior Dash, the Tough Bloke Challenge, and I will (hopefully) be running Tough Mudder in a few weeks.
What was I thinking?
I had ten months off last year with two dessicated thoracic spinal discs. When I started training for the Warrior Dash, it was with a walking stick. My friends initially invited me to the event to watch them, and I thought to myself “Bugger THAT”.
I agree with Noxx, although I can’t say for sure that it’s ‘manufactured’ or ‘artificial’. There is always a real danger of injury, it’s just (as you say) voluntary.
So why all the pain and stupidity? For me, it’s about the sense of achievement. Even almost a year after returning to work from my injury, I regularly struggle through the hourly commute and the forty something week. I still live off pain killers, and (I’m almost ashamed to say it) I’m pretty miserable.
After a Mud Run, I’m destroyed for the entire weekend. Both times I’ve needed a day or two off work afterwards to recover.
BUT.
In order to complete the run, I sacrifice a few days of functionality. I compress everything I have and everything I am into a few hours. And for those few hours, I’m Bruce Wayne, Clarke Kent, Leonidas, and William Wallace. Heck, I’d even settle for Dennis Doyle from Downstairs. :-D
Also, the look of pride on my Fiancee’s face after I collapsed over the finish line at Tough Bloke was worth all the pain.
Thanks for sharing, Michael!
Is that what they’re called? “Mud Runs”? Makes sense.
Michael – looks like you had more to recover from than my excess of pizza! My only goal at these is to finish without skipping an obstacle (2 for 2 thus far), hopefully getting into better shape in the process. Keep going!
Love the discussion, dipiction and artistry. Your a good cartoonist! Well done. Great website too!
Hey, thanks, Dan! I appreciate the kind words!
Love the expression on JP in the 3rd panel! :)
I love these types of events. They’re so much fun. I’ve done three; the most recent one was called “Run for your freaken life”, and throughout the course we were chased/attacked by people dressed as zombies.
I did Run For Your Lives last year, which was a zombie themed adventure race. This year we’re doing it again along with Mud on the Mountain and Ruckus Run. The whole point of these is to test your athleticism and endurance (in varying degrees depending on the race) in a fun way. Don’t knock it til you tried it.