I have a difficult time with Valentine’s Day.
I’m not one of those guys who thinks it’s a worthless “greeting card” holiday. I mean, it totally is a “greeting card” holiday, but I think it’s fun to observe regardless.
The reason I have a difficult time with Valentines’ Day is that I never know how much time and money to invest in the holiday. There are so many “couples’ holidays” like Christmas, birthdays, and anniversaries just to name a few. Add in Mother’s Day and Father’s Day for the parents along with the fledgling “Sweetest Day”, and you’ll notice that there are several holidays throughout the calendar year when we are supposed to recognize our husbands, wives, boyfriends, and girlfriends. With so many days set aside for the observance of love, it’s hard to determine how much emphasis to put on each one. So when Valentine’s rolls around I find myself asking questions such as:
What is the budget for Valentine’s this year?
How much is Kari spending on me?
Should I match the amount Kari is spending on me, or should I exceed it?
Will Kari be upset with me if I exceed the amount she spent on me?
Should I get her flowers?
Do I take her out to dinner on Valentine’s Day, or should I wait until the weekend?
There are a lot of tough decisions to make on Valentine’s Day. I can say with one-hundred-percent certainty what we WON’T be doing, however: watching Fireproof.
Do you have plans for Valentine’s Day? What are they?
We got married on February 15, so I just roll everything into one big romantic holiday, and usually buy her jewelry she never wears or a movie she never watches ;-)
BOOM. That’s the way to do it!
I’ll speak not from personal experience but from observation and countless TV shows and horrible rom-coms (how is this genre so rarely transcended?)
Your Valentine’s Day celebration must be held on February 14. St. Valentine didn’t die for nothing, you know.
Though some obstacle(s) will invariably assert itself (traffic, reservations, memory, criminals/terrorists*), you will overcome each and every obstacle with aplomb and style.
You will sing a song to your wife that everyone in the restaurant (or other location you have daringly chosen to defy all–or any–expectations) will know and willingly join in. The more obscure the song, the more romantic-comedic the outing. Bonus points if you tip the maître-d to accomplish this (because you would never attempt to prove your love in a restaurant with mere waiters).
There will be no opportunity to cause friction with your wife, as you have stepped up your game considerably beyond such trivial shortcomings and are now in control of circumstances normally beyond your control.
Ultimately, you will be able to read your wife’s mind and know exactly what to do for the perfect Valentine’s outing. Fortunately, this ability will be short term only (women can believe it’s because no man can understand women whereas men can say it’s because they cannot handle the chaos). Five seconds should be more than enough time to glean sufficient information from your temporary clairvoyance.
* Do not dine in restaurants in skyscrapers, nor in buildings in which there is some business party occurring (because business Valentine parties are abundant). Do not engage with shady-looking characters.** Do not do anything in New York City or the surrounding area.
** For this day, your wife does not count as a shady-looking character. More importantly, for this day, you get a pass on being a shady-looking character.
Let Kirk Cameron be your guide.
This, sir, is brilliant.
the website art of manliness (check it out, its awsome) had a project where you make a braclet out of pennies. you pick pennies that have the years that are important to you as a couple. the best part is even if she doeant wear it she’ll treasure it anyways. plus itll scoop her on any store bought gift. ohh and Wes, I rage against sweetest day as I tell my wife since I never herd of it in NJ till i moved to ohio its not a national holiday. :p
Ha! Awesome tip! Thanks for sharing, man!
Best part is, it is less than a dollar to make! Unless she has really really thick wrists.
I’m glad that I have a wife who isn’t hard to please. She’s happy with just about anything I get her. (Good thing, too, as we’ve had a lot of lean years since the post-9/11 IT crash.) We’re planning to use a gift certificate for dinner, so that’ll be free. I’ll probably get her some roses and a card and she’ll be happy. :)
Awesome. It’s always the thought that counts.
I cant help but stare at the legs on the couple. Those jeans look really uncomfortable in both cases
The jeans are custom made.
The important thing is, is to pace yourself. You don’t want to set the bar high and then try and top it every year. Hopefully you’ll be married a very long time so you want to escalate only slightly each year. I made a mis-calculation and got engaged on Valentine’s Day. (20 years ago this Thursday) I’ll never top that. It was a rookie mistake. Now I just ask her what she wants, still have to get a card or something though. If she says “nothing” don’t fall for it, it is a trap.
Tons of wisdom in this comment. Thanks, Barry!
To make life easy, my wife and I just say up front what the budget is for every gift giving holiday we choose to celebrate.
Then there’s no second guessing if we’ve spent enough or too much or too little. Then it becomes more of a game of how creative we can be with the given budget.
Side note: We do not celebrate sweetest day. Even though we (accidentally) married on that day. It was the only Saturday available in the church, and the business calendar we were looking at to see what dates were unbooked didn’t list such a silly holiday. Probably further proof that it’s not a real holiday that needs to be celebrated.
My wife and I set budgets for gift-giving, too, but we both have a hard time sticking to them.
I do have to admit that occasionally we have trouble sticking to budgets. But that seems to not be a problem with valentines so much as anniversaries.
The hardest part for me is that my wife is the ultimate gift shopper. She has next years Christmas planned and perhaps even bought.. on December 26th. Makes it hard to compete.
My Wife pulled the WORST EVER Valentine’s Day Stunt on me last Saturday…
She looked me in the eyes, very sternly and said “Do. Not. Get Me ANYTHING for Valentine’s” and left it at that.
Now, I am screwed either way I go!
I think a love note…maybe? Or a Dozen Roses? Or homemade cookies?
Man, this is playing with my mind!!!
WWKCD (What Would Kirk Cameron Do?)
Play it safe! Roses and a card!
that calls for a rose shaved into the chest hair. Definitely
It can be a tricky balance. Last year two of my friends, my stepmom, and myself all pitched in to buy my wife one thing she’d been looking at all year: a nice bicycle!
It ended up badly because she felt that the bike was too costly for us to give her. She rode it once, and hasn’t touched it since. She is always looking at it sideways now, and I can read the subtle lines of guilt she feels on her face.
This year I went with a home cooked meal and a flower arrangement I made myself. She was much happier.
I used to hate Valentine’s until I got married. I actually hosted a Die Hard movie marathon in college to commemorate my hatred. It was well attended.
My wife and I set a budget Dave Ramsey style for Valentine’s Day, our anniversary and birthdays. This allows each of us to be creative and thoughtful w/ in certain parameters and controls expectations.
DO NOT go out on Valentine’s day. After Mother’s Day, it is the worst day ever to patronize a restaurant. Cook for her instead (or get carry-out), and take her out some subsequent weeknight.
Sweetest Day? I managed to forget about that in the last 13 years of living in The South.